I was in the second grade. It was Colorado. In the winter. Cold.
My teacher was Ms Smith. I adored her.
But that isn't what this story is about. This is a story about a Mother's betrayal. Heartache. Childhood trauma. Ugly foot ware.
There was a girl named Jamie in my class. She was very pretty, very good at making rabbits out of construction paper, and had lovely lavender boots. They were the perfect shad of lavender, (not too purple you know, not too showy) with white faux fur peeking out from the top. So pretty. I wanted to be her. Party because her name was Jamie (why couldn't I have a normal name like Jamie, or Susan?), partly because she could make such fantastic bunny rabbits... But mostly because of those lavender boots.
I did not have lavender boots with white fur trim. Oh, nooo... They would have looked way too good with my lavender corduroy pants and stripes and hearts sweatshirt. We couldn't have Mariah looking fashionable. heck no. She's got to wear...
Moon boots.
Moon freaking Boots.
They were neither pink, nor purple, and they were not adorned with unicorns. That means they were ugly.
These moon boots were not even for girls.
Are you ready for this?
They were boys' Moon Boots.
Boys' Moon Boots.
My mother made me wear boys' Moon Boots.
They were red and blue. obviously for boys.
I was not a boy. I was a girl. Who cared about such things as a well crafted bunny rabbit, lavender boots with fur trim to match my lavender corduroy pants, and having a normal name.
Wearing boys' boots was mortifying.
Horrific.
Child abuse.
And even worse...
Hold on to your hats...
My mother.
made me wear.
Boys'.
Moon Boots.
On.
Class Picture Day.
I know.
I don't remember how cold it was that day. I don't remember how much snow was on the ground. The only thing I remember is that it was class picture day, and I was wearing boys' shoes.
"Your boots won't even show!" My mother insisted.
Well. That was a big. fat. lie.
I was placed by the photographer in a chair right in the front row. With my big, ugly boy feet illuminated like a blue and red neon sign reading, "I wish my name was Jamie." for all the world to see.
I do not even need to tell you how I felt about it all.
Weeks later when we received our copies of our class photos, the expression on my face mirrored the disgust and anguish in my gut. My head was cocked to one side, and I had a kind of snarling, pouting look on my face. Not attractive.
I was so unhappy with, not only my big ugly boy boots, but now my ugly face as well, that I scratched out my face with my fingernail before I even got the photo home.
In hind sight...
di-sturb-ing.
Can you imagine your child bringing home a photo of herself with her face scratched out?
creepy.
4 comments:
Ok Mariah now I have to see this picture!
Um, hello, can we SEE the photo?
-R
yes i agree. i also desire to see said photo.
Haha! I totally have this picture of you and now I must go find it to scan and post for the world to see! And, I adored Ms. Smith also. Oh, and your face is NOT scratched out in mine :)
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