8/23/2011

Back too Soon

Chris, Harrison and I are back in Colorado.  Much sooner than I ever dreamed.

My little brother, Michael passed away early Sunday morning.  I don't wish to go into any more detail than that, his passing was very sudden and tragic.

There are no words to express what is in my heart, the scenes that replay in my mind, or the numbness in my fingertips as I type this.  I am here.  I am making funeral arrangements.  I am talking about my brother in the past tense.  But it feels like someone else is doing it.  Like I'm watching a movie.  But this isn't a movie.  There is no end to this scene, no shot of me waking in my bed from a bad dream.  It's still there when I wake up, and it's still real.

I don't know to what extent I will ever really write about this here, I am actually an intensely private person. That might seem strange, but those who know me best know that it's true.  I may find that writing about this loss will be healing for me, but I might also find that I want to go back to writing about little boys in their pajamas and never mention this again.  I guess we'll just see.

So I'll be taking a little break from my blog world.  I don't know for how long, but this week for sure.  Maybe next.  Maybe the next after that.  I really just don't know.

Thanks, friends.  Please keep our family in your prayers.

9 comments:

Lugina said...

Oh Mariah, I am so, so sorry. There are no words. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

April Irvin said...

I know these feelings all to well my bloggy friend. I pray for peace for you and all those that love your brother.

Anonymous said...

Many of us are praying for all of you.

Tania said...

I know many of us are praying for you. May God be with you and bring you comfort in the memories of your brother.

Miranda Thompson said...

Sending our love & offering up prayers ~ If you ever need a listening ear...I'm here. May God bless & keep you & your sweet little family*

Autumn Brown said...

Words cannot express your pain and words cannot express my condolences. We are all hurting very much. So many questions...no answers to reply. You mourn whatever way you deem necessary. Don't let anyone criticize you on that either. You take as long as you need, don't let anybody tell you otherwise. No one feels your pain the way you do therefore no one can tell you how to go about this. This is new to all of us. Just remember how much you LOVE (not lovED)him. He will forever be in our hearts. Remember, you can call me at ANYTIME to talk about anything, or nothing at all.

Chera said...

Much love and prayers, sweet friend.

Jgirl said...

Mariah - I don't have words for you. Be strong for those sweet boys, and take joy in them.

xo katrina said...

i'm so sorry to hear about your loss, mariah. sending hugs and positive thoughts to all of you.

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