The Book

 A while back, my big kindergarten boy...  You know the one.  Great surfer hair, too cool for school smirk, eyelashes a mile long, powdered donut on his face?

Yah, that kid.  He's the one.

So anyways...

My big kindergarten boy.

He had a book fair at his school.  Very exciting stuff.  Remember?  There were loads of books in his little catalogue that he brought home that I was sure he would love.  So I told him that tomorrow when I came to the school and took him to the book fair, he could pick any book he wanted and I would buy it for him.  This made me feel like a very cool mom.  That's right, Kid.  Any book.  Any book you want.  Because I am generous, cool enough to respect your decisions as an independent growing boy, and also, I support literacy.


The big book fair day came, I got a sitter for the two little brothers...  And the next thing you know Lucas and I are holding hands walking to the gym.  That's right.  He still holds my hand.  Love it.  


Lucas goes to a much bigger school than I did as a kid, and to a much bigger school than the little school where I taught.  The enormous gym is a little intimidating...  But then I remembered that I was at an elementary school.  Filled with kids.  And kids can smell fear.  And then they attack.  So I just took a big breath and was brave.

Remember, Sweetie.  You can pick any book you want!  Let's go find one together!  


But he was no longer beside me.  He was already mall-walking halfway across the LA Lakers size gymnasium.  I caught up with him when he found his book and was hugging it tightly to his chest.  His class had come in the day before to browse, so he already knew exactly what he wanted.  So he had beelined it to the exact book, on the exact shelf, on the exact table, in the cavernous intimidating gymnasium.  The one book.  The one I promised him.

And it was a fifteen dollar pink, Disney Princess book that came with a toy iPod.

Seriously?


Seriously.

And he would not, would not, would not be persuaded.

Honey, don't you want to look around?  We still have all these other books to look at.  Hey look!  A new Llama Llama book.  You love Llama Llama.  Do you want this book instead?  Ooohhh...  Look at this great animal book!  ooohhh...  it comes with a DVD!  A DVD, Lucas!  Hey, look!  Sharks!  Look at that!  Penguins!  I'll tell you what....  you can have the shark book, AND the penguin book if you put back the princess book.  Come on!  Sharks!  Penguins!


But it was all to no avail.  Here was a man who knew what he wanted.  And what he wanted was a fifteen dollar pink princess book with a toy iPod.  fifteen freaking dollars!


I could not win.  He had been seduced by the oversized eyes and illustrious locks of the princesses on the cover.  I suspect that the plastic toy iPod also had something to do with it.  But I had promised.

Yup.  I bought it.

And as it turned out...  The pink princess book was a pretty big hit around our house.  Huh.  Didn't see that one coming.  Whatev, dudes.  Whatev.

What they really, really love...  is that pink iPod.  Especially Harrison.

And the moral of the story is...  Never, EVER tell a kid he can have whatever (fill in the blank here) that he wants.  Ever.  Or it will cost you fifteen dollars when you are expecting to spend six.  And then you will have a pink toy iPod.  And that's a little weird.  The end.